is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
