hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
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