it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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