Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize