Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
where are my pants?
in the oven.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
