how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I just gargled with NyQuil
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
