I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
