i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
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It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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