Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
