I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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