wakey wakey hands off snakey
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
is that a dick in a sweater?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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