No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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