I feel like I'm in dance class right now
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
