but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
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