seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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