yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
