i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
