I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
