Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Acid is not a monday night drug
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
