that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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