perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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