Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i barfeds in our rink
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Randomize
