I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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