Nicole vs. Life
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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