I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
