you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
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