Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize