ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Randomize
