1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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