about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
