I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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