D3 body, D1 cock
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
