Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize