I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
My first STD was from a foam party
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
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i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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