Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
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Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
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You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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