drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize