this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
We had sex on a dog bed..
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
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