wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
