Are we in a gay sports bar?
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
