Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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