The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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