People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
