the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Houston, we have a squirter
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
