Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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