i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
