If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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