How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
