That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
