$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
