id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
jump out the window naked night went bad
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
