I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
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Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
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Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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