I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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