seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Drake has all the answers
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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