Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
