Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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