just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
