At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
false alarm, still single
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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