she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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