Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize