i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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